For you to fully understand the love our Heavenly Father has
for our Brock and what he’s done to get him here safely, I need to back up a
few months. I’ve been meaning to journal this event for a while now, but I
never did get it completely finished.
When I was 26 weeks pregnant I was driving to visit a friend
and her kiddos. I was driving on the freeway and was somewhat nervous because it was pouring outside and I couldn't see very well. I was cruising along when a song I
didn’t like came on the radio. I specifically remember looking down to change
the station, but then I didn’t; for “whatever” reason I kept both hands on the
wheel and stayed focused on the road. Just seconds later, a car swerved from
three lanes over into my lane and right in front of me. I knew there was a car
in the carpool lane but I had no time to think and no other option; I was able
to swerve into the carpool lane and was blessed enough that the person in that
lane was able to swerve to avoid me hitting them. Had I hit the driver that
swerved into my lane, because she came at such a sharp angle, I would have hit just
behind her driver door going 70 MPH. I
know that it could have been a horrific accident, that quite possibly could
have killed her, me, and most likely would have made me miscarry. After I got
back into my lane and people stopped honking, it took me probably a solid ten
seconds to realize what I just avoided and I broke down. I cried hysterically.
I cried because I was overwhelmed with the thought “that could have been so
bad”. And then it hit me with a ton of bricks… “My Heavenly Father is aware of
my baby boy and protected him. My baby boy is meant to come to this earth at
this time for reasons Heavenly Father has planned for him.” The love I felt
from Heavenly Father for my baby was overwhelming and more real than I had ever
experienced before. I was an emotional wreck. On Sunday during Relief Society I
could not stop thinking about what Heavenly Father helped me avoid. I pulled
out my kindle and wrote a letter to my baby boy:
My sweet baby boy,
I want you to know that your Heavenly Father loves you,
knows you, and has a plan for you. You are a special boy and will bring so much
good and so much joy into our family and into this world. I promise you that if
you stay close to your Heavenly Father and keep his commandments you will have
so much joy in your life. This life isn’t easy and you will have hardships and
trials but with your family and with your Heavenly Father you can overcome
anything. Your dad and I are your biggest fans and will always love you,
support you, and be there for you. I promise that we will teach you the gospel
and give you the tools you need to live the gospel. We love you more than you
know and want nothing but the best for you.
Love,
Mommy
Now I will fast forward to Friday, November 15th.
Ry and I had wanted to get up to St. Charles one more time before baby boy
would make his debut. I was 35 weeks pregnant and we knew that we would have to
start staying closer to home in the next couple of weeks. This was a weekend we
had been looking at for a while since I didn’t work and we didn’t have anything
else going on. It turned out to be even more of a perfect weekend to go up
since Ry’s mom and grandma would be in Montpelier staying with his uncle and we
really wanted to visit him. By the time Ry was done working and able to leave
it was dark. We debated back and forth if we should go. The weather hadn’t been
too bad, but Ry was worried about black ice in Logan Canyon. However, if we
didn’t leave that night we wouldn’t be able to go at all since there was
supposed to be a blizzard starting early the next morning and lasting all day
long. We had already packed and loaded the car and knew that if we didn’t go up
this weekend we might not make it up before baby boy was born. We decided to
go. The weather hadn’t been too bad during the day and we the car had recently
had its tires replaced. Not long after we left Ry mentioned that he had a
feeling that we shouldn’t go. I didn’t have any sort of feeling either way. I
told Ry that in no way would I be upset with him if we didn’t go because he
felt like we shouldn’t. We kept driving and pulled off the freeway about ten
minutes from home to get gas. When Ry got back in the car he told me we weren’t
going. We turned around and went home. Little did we know that the reason
Heavenly Father prompted Ry to have us stay home was because our little man
would be coming.
Now Saturday…Saturday just makes me laugh. You want to know
what we did all day? We cleaned. We vacuumed, cleared out the boxes from the
living room, moved the extra TV and table out of the nursery, etc. etc. We
cleaned all day long. Can you say “nesting”? :)
*I know this is an extremely long post and I apologize, but
I want to remember the details :)
Sunday morning at 9am I woke up and realized that something
didn’t feel quite right. When I stood I could tell that there was some drainage
so I went to the bathroom. The drainage kept coming and went from thin and
clear to thicker and pink and then back to thin and clear. I started to panic a
little and woke Ry up and told him something was wrong. After about 15 minutes
the drainage all but stopped. We talked for a few minutes and tried to figure
out what we should do. We had stayed up really late and he looked exhausted so I
sent him back to bed and decided to shower. The drainage seemed to have stopped
but I decided to call the on-call doctor anyways. I had been in three weeks
before to be checked when I had had some similar drainage but on a much smaller
degree. I told the doctor about this and told him that last time it was nothing
and asked if I needed to be checked regardless or if I could wait and see. He
said I was fine to wait and see but to go in if there continued to be a good
amount of drainage. I decided to start getting ready for the day since our home
teachers would be here shortly. I had another large gush of fluid and started
to doubt that we would not be going into the hospital to have me checked. I
kept getting ready and we went upstairs to wait for our home teachers. As we
sat there waiting I had another large gush and ran downstairs. Ry stayed
upstairs and visited with the home teachers (he told them I wasn’t feeling well
haha) while I packed us a bag for the hospital. Lucky for me I had made a
hospital bag packing list in my phone the night before at about 1am haha. After
the home teachers left we were off to the hospital. Not long before I noticed I
was starting to feel a little crampy and get pain in my back that would come
and go. I didn’t know if these were contractions but I decided to time how
often they were happening as we drove to the hospital. They came about every
2-3 minutes. We got to the hospital and went to the triage room. I had been
there before and knew the drill. They would do two things: put some of the
fluid on a piece of pH paper and look at some of the fluid under a microscope.
If the pH paper turned blue there was a chance it was amniotic fluid (I say
chance because other things can turn it blue), it turned blue right away which
had not happened the last time I was there. Next she put some of the fluid on a
slide and went to look at it under a microscope. Amniotic fluid is the only
fluid that will look like snowflakes under a microscope. She left for a few
minutes and when she came back she told us the test was positive. It was
amniotic fluid. My water had broken. I broke down and started to cry. He wasn’t
supposed to come yet…it was too early. My cute nurse said she was going to
start crying if she stayed in there and then walked out. She came back a little
bit later to check how dilated and effaced I was. I was 1cm dilated and 80%
effaced. My thoughts were, “Lovely. This is going to be one long day”. I think
it was about 2pm when I got admitted, IV placed, and hooked back up to the
monitors. Contractions were regular and uncomfortable but not intolerable. I
didn’t want the epidural quite yet because I wanted to be able to move around
and walk. We discussed starting Pitocin and I asked the nurse if we could give
my body a couple hours to see if I really needed it or not. We started to let
our family and friends know what was going on. My parents were up in Idaho and
were planning on stopping at our place for dinner that night. I called them but
they didn’t answer. I left a message and called them again an hour later when I
hadn’t heard back from them. When my mom answered I could tell she hadn’t
gotten my message so I proceeded to tell her that we were in the hospital and
that I was in labor. So…dinner wouldn’t be happening. Contractions started to
get stronger and more painful in by back and I tried sitting on the edge of the
bed, standing, and walking to see if it would help with the pain. The nurse
also taught us to have me sit up with my feet flat and knees at a 90 degree
angle and have Ry push against my knees. I can’t decide if it helped or not,
but the distraction was nice :) After being checked again and my nurse noticing
that the contractions were starting to get very painful, she encouraged me to
get the epidural. I agreed and the anesthesiologist was in my room just minutes
later. This was maybe around 4pm? After that life was good haha. We just hung
out and continued to let our family know what was going on. Christen came for a
visit which was very sweet of her. The day kinda runs together and I can’t keep
everything quite straight. I know that the nurse checked me a couple times and
was okay with my progression but felt that at some point Pitocin would have to
be started. She checked me around 6pm and I could have sworn that I was 3 ½ cm
but Ry says I’m delusional and that I was 4cm. I guess I’ll believe him.
Anyways. My parents showed up just before 7pm and came to say hi. My nurse came
in about that same time and I told her I was feeling pressure so she wanted to
check me real quick as her shift was almost over. My parents stepped out into
the hall and Ry went with so he could chat with them. She checked and I was
complete! My parents and Ry came back for a few minutes while she let the
doctor know and grabbed the oncoming nurse so we could do some practice pushes.
My parents went to the waiting room and we started to push. We did 2 ½ rounds of pushes before they had me stop,
cross my legs, and wait for my doctor to get there. Sometime during all of this
my sweet sister-in-law showed up so she could get some pictures. Thank you Mel!
Dr. Terry showed up and we started to push! I can’t remember for sure how many
rounds of pushes we did with him…but it wasn’t very many, I want to say we
pushed through two or three contractions. Although the day is kind of a blur
and I can’t quite remember all the details, the feeling of seeing my baby boy
for the first time is unforgettable. And Mel did an amazing job at capturing
this moment and capturing the emotions we were feeling. They put my baby on my
chest and I got to hold him and touch him for the first time. And he was
screaming! Which meant that his lungs were strong. After a few minutes the NICU
nurse and respiratory therapist (both there due to protocol with him being less
than 36 weeks) took him to measure, weigh, and check him out. My baby boy
weighed 5 pounds 6.6 ounces and measured 17 ¾ inches. Because he was doing so
well they let him stay with me until we were ready to send him to the NICU to
be assessed by the nurse practitioner. Lucky for us, he only stayed there about
5 hours and his only issue was low blood sugars. We were given the option to
either have him eat some formula or have an IV placed to receive fluids. We
chose to have him eat. Ry stayed with him the whole time and I did everything I
could to get down to the NICU ASAP. They made me wait a couple hours until the
epidural was more worn off and I was able to walk to the bathroom. Finally I
got to go down and see my boys…my family. Words cannot express how grateful I
am that Brock was born healthy with no major issues or complications, that his
lungs were developed and that he got to come up to my room shortly after and that
he got to come home with us. Our little man was just anxious to get here and we
are so grateful to have him. Thank you so much to all our family and friends
for the love and support. We appreciate the visits, the gifts, the meals, the
pictures taken, and so much more. Thank you thank you thank you! We love you
all so much and know that Brock is surrounded by people who love him and care
about him. I truly feel blessed that Heavenly Father has entrusted us with this
sweet boy and I could not be more grateful that He helped him get here safely.
A HUGE "thank you" to Mel for being there and capturing such a special moment! I absolutely love all the pictures she took and I tear up every time I watch the video she created. I had the hardest time deciding which pictures to post on the blog...there are SO many more amazing ones!! I will always treasure these.
A HUGE "thank you" to Mel for being there and capturing such a special moment! I absolutely love all the pictures she took and I tear up every time I watch the video she created. I had the hardest time deciding which pictures to post on the blog...there are SO many more amazing ones!! I will always treasure these.
